Within the world of recorded music there exists several dark places. "Van Halen III" in generally regarded as one of those such places. Released in 1998 amid generally negative and sometimes hostile reviews, the album has become infamous and a classic example of how not to stage a comeback. I have listened to the album more than once in my life (a feat I dare you to repeat), so I will offer my opinions about this very maligned album.
The album begins with the instrumental "Neworld". The song sounds like an piece of music that would provide accompaniment to a late 1990s "WB" show such as "Dawson's Creek". The piano playing is nice, and the acoustic gentle and relaxing; however, the style is totally out of place for the band and lacks any really grit and sounds digital and thin. Lead single "Without You" is an absolute disaster. New singer Gary Cherone's vocals lie buried in the mix; muddled amid a sea of processed backing vocals that sound out of a horror movie from the 1960s. The song is actually not a horrible song, if Sammy Hagar were to add his power and confidence it might actually be somewhat decent. The song sounds like it was recorded in a submarine; and even Eddie's guitar sounds really off from its usual crystal-clear sound. The song is also way too long; and the verses really lack any sparkle and seem tacked on. The outro is totally unnecessary, and will leave you wishing the song were over. Next, "One I Want" sounds like a Sammy-era reject. The song references countless famous "men", Superman, the Candyman, etc. The lyrics are quite simply the worst ever put to paper by the band. You will be laughing in your seat by the middle of the song; and wondering what the hell Cherone was thinking. Even the famous Van Halen backing vocals suffer here; and sound very tinny and weak. The horribly distorted sound continues to grate your nerves; and even Eddie sounds like he is jamming at a Guitar Center rather than recording in a professional studio. The solo is decent enough, but does not save the song. The song also really shows Cherone's limitations as a singer; lacking the brute power to match Eddie's inferno-like guitar.
" From Afar" will leave you wishing the album were over. The vocals have layers of cheap digital delay; as if producer Mike Post was trying to hide Cherone's vocals. The bass is initially barely audible; and layers of squealing high-pitched guitars really annoy the listener. The song kicks into gear late in the song, and it slightly gets more exciting with the addition of decent chorus. Van Halen's bass playing is evident in this section; but the song feels like a patching together of two different recordings. The song also includes some digital drum sounds; possibly an effort by the band to update their sound. A mostly dreadful song. "Dirty Water Dog" sounds again like a Sammy demo, and is actually one of the better songs on the album. The song has the Sammy-like swagger that is missing on much of this album. Cherone does a decent Haggar, and it is here where he excels. Besides the lack of guitar distortion in verses; the song contains a great example of the power of Alex Van Halen on the sticks and is actually quite a funky jam-like song. Great song.
"Once" again takes us back into the depths of musical despair. The song sounds very "New Age", and the integration of dub-like bass and techno-like beats is a huge misstep for the aging band. Basically, think of a very cheap and thin-sounding imitation of Sting and you will get an idea of the direction of this song. The vocals again sound very processed, and the repetitive and vague lyrics bore the listener to tears. A vile experiment of a song, and far from the roots of the band as one can get. "Fire in the Hole" takes a step in the right direction. Again the band steps in Sammy mode, and the song has a nice amount of classic Van Halen signatures; aggressive and intricate riffs laced with guitar acrobatics and a very solid vocal from Cherone. A decent rocker of a song.
"Josephina" takes the band back into acoustic territory. The song contains Eddie's masterful guitar "harmonics", and it is nice to see them try something new by using acoustics . The song sounds somewhat like Cherone's "Extreme" group, especially in the chorus. The song shows another side of Van Halen; much softer and folk-like. The love-letter of a song contains some very experimental guitar trickery from Van Halen that sounds somewhat removed from the soft and acoustic vibe of the song. Not a classic, but not offensive and kind of sweet and interesting at the same time. "Year to the Day" sounds very Latin-influenced, and contains a very soft and reflective guitar/vocal only introduction. The sorrowful lament about the loss of a love is quite long, and is the closest the band get to a true ballad with Cherone. The vocal is quite decent, and shows that although Cherone is somewhat limited by his range, he still is definitely and underrated vocalist. The song alternates from heavily distorted choruses and quiet and sparse verses. The song is very long, and could have easily been shortened by a section or two. Eddie's constant noodling on the axe actually becomes somewhat of an annoyance at this point; and lacks the focus that defined the band's peak commercial period. After middling for several minutes of guitar torture, the song again kicks back into the powerful chorus and a much more focused and aggressive guitar solo by Eddie. Not a bad song; but quite long and unfocused.
"Primary" is a short and useless guitar effect experiment by Eddie. The cheap and digital sitar-like sounds are really bad and the sound of the amplifier on really gives the song a rough demo feel. A sketch at best. "Ballot of the Bullet" takes the band into a weird Punk/Metal hybrid of a song. The political song sounds like an attempt by the band to modernize the Van Halen template, but really sounds forced. Van Halen has never been good at politics, and the song continues that truth. The song sounds extremely "sludge-like", a far-cry from the pristine studio wizardry we expect from Eddie and company. Another mistake. The album closes with "How Many Say I". The piano-driven song that is quite slow and smokey. The song sounds almost like a Tom Waits homage, but in a way that makes the listener recoil in horror. The song is horrible, and easily the worst on the album. The piano sounds cheap and fake, Cherone sounds really deflated, and the backing vocals are ridiculous and will induce hysterics. A horrible-sounding string section closes the song. An abomination of music.
"Van Halen III" is not without any merit. When imitating Haggar, Cherone often delivers a decent vocal and is actually quite a good singer at times. However, the album is brought down by poor recording choices, some very questionable experimental songs, and Eddie's constant desire to show off without direction or focus. It is if the dictator finally had his chance to unleash all of his schemes without opposition. Michael Anthony was hardly involved in the recording, and his absence is clearly felt. "Van Halen III" is horrible because it bears the name of one of the greatest rock groups in history, and that is the definition of disgrace. Therefore, "Van Halen III" is quite simply, a disgrace.
Rating-2.5/10
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